Anyone for a Night Cap?
"We're going out for just one drink" my roomates announced...I've heard that one before. I was sick at home with a cold and the gals were hitting the town.
The next morning, stumbling from bed, my chest sticky with vapor rub, I heard the soft lullabys of someone, hopefully a roomate, vomitting in the bathroom. While I politely waited to pee, I entered my living room which to my suprise, was not in the condition I had left it. Instead, the clues detailing my roomates' escapades from the previous evening littered our small apartment.
Clue #1- bottle of resolve Clue #2-chocolate penis cake Clue #3-dried brown substance Clue #4-bottle of diet root beer, stalks of asparagus, and half a tuna steak -had I stumbled onto the set of a CSI episode? And what's with the penis cake? "I need some coffee"... I thought to myself.
As my roomates began to stumble out of bed...and out of the toilet...I waited for the evening re-cap...it of course began with... "I'm never drinking tequila again"...followed by..."I volunteered to make a penis cake for a co-worker's bachelorette party"... and finally..."I felt like some late-night tuna steak topped with soy sauce and steamed asparagus and chased with a diet root beer"...
My roomates obviously have incredible motor skills. Firstly, I didn't even know our oven worked properly. And while drunk, roomate #1 somehow managed to make a chocolate penis cake-which I later heard was delicious. Secondly, since our stove top-which also hardly works-had the remnants of tuna and steamed asparagus, it was apparent that we actually owned a vegetable steamer, and that resolve does indeed work wonders on soy sauce stains. And who ever heard of tuna steak satisfying the late-night munchies...this gal's got taste.
"But how did you get the ingredients for the cake...and the tuna"...I asked. "Food Imporium"...they announced. I pictured the two of them stumbling through the store looking for frosting, sprinkles, diet root beer, and a tuna steak.
I nodded my head...everything seemed to make sense, and wasn't too out of the ordinary.
My roomates finally left for work, hung over, and one with a penis cake in her hands. "Be careful"... I said as she closed the door..."today is not the day to get mugged, hit by a car, or caught in a hostage crisis". I can just see the police report now.."the victim was found with a blood alcohol level of .08 and a penis cake".
The next morning, stumbling from bed, my chest sticky with vapor rub, I heard the soft lullabys of someone, hopefully a roomate, vomitting in the bathroom. While I politely waited to pee, I entered my living room which to my suprise, was not in the condition I had left it. Instead, the clues detailing my roomates' escapades from the previous evening littered our small apartment.
Clue #1- bottle of resolve Clue #2-chocolate penis cake Clue #3-dried brown substance Clue #4-bottle of diet root beer, stalks of asparagus, and half a tuna steak -had I stumbled onto the set of a CSI episode? And what's with the penis cake? "I need some coffee"... I thought to myself.
As my roomates began to stumble out of bed...and out of the toilet...I waited for the evening re-cap...it of course began with... "I'm never drinking tequila again"...followed by..."I volunteered to make a penis cake for a co-worker's bachelorette party"... and finally..."I felt like some late-night tuna steak topped with soy sauce and steamed asparagus and chased with a diet root beer"...
My roomates obviously have incredible motor skills. Firstly, I didn't even know our oven worked properly. And while drunk, roomate #1 somehow managed to make a chocolate penis cake-which I later heard was delicious. Secondly, since our stove top-which also hardly works-had the remnants of tuna and steamed asparagus, it was apparent that we actually owned a vegetable steamer, and that resolve does indeed work wonders on soy sauce stains. And who ever heard of tuna steak satisfying the late-night munchies...this gal's got taste.
"But how did you get the ingredients for the cake...and the tuna"...I asked. "Food Imporium"...they announced. I pictured the two of them stumbling through the store looking for frosting, sprinkles, diet root beer, and a tuna steak.
I nodded my head...everything seemed to make sense, and wasn't too out of the ordinary.
My roomates finally left for work, hung over, and one with a penis cake in her hands. "Be careful"... I said as she closed the door..."today is not the day to get mugged, hit by a car, or caught in a hostage crisis". I can just see the police report now.."the victim was found with a blood alcohol level of .08 and a penis cake".
posted by RebeccaMariaCecilia at 4:09 PM
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